Many “Positive” Affirmations Encourage Your Current Behaviors of Avoidance.

Eric Nolan
3 min readMar 12, 2021

The affirmations you tell yourself may be contributing to your behaviors of avoidance without you even realizing it. Like many others, I consider the best kinds of affirmation to be the one’s that make personal progress easier. In this article, I will exclusively be talking about affirmations within the context of approaching women.

Based on personal experience, certain types of so-called “powerful” and “positive” affirmations such as “I’m the best”, “I’m fearless”, or “I’m the greatest” are all super damaging if a man has the desire to approach a woman. Based on anecdotal evidence, these sayings make it more difficult to start a conversation with women because a man rather save face than risk potential feelings of shame.

When a person affirms something to themselves, their conscious self temporarily evaluates their own self-worth on the basis of how far they differ from this affirmation. So if someone tells themself, “I’m fearless”, then feels fear, their self-esteem will fall down the gutter because they set their own metric of worthiness to ‘fearlessness’, and fell short.

These kind of affirmations are terrible because they make a virtue out of the impossible. To live up to these standards are unattainable. And if a person attempts to, they’re only shooting themselves in the foot. Perfectionists can never be happy. The truth of the matter is that everybody feels fear sometimes and no person can be the greatest in every situation. So if you affirm to yourself one of these “powerful” affirmations which determines your own self-worth by an unattainable metric, then you’ll routinely feel like a disappointment. After all, you keep falling short of your own perfect definition.

When having the urge to approach women, I used to tell myself similar things such as, “I’m fearless” and “I’m so badass”. Well guess what happened? I never approached the women I wanted. Instead, I continued to live in my own head where everything was perfect than risk the potential reality of feeling fear if I approached her. After all, fear was weak and pathetic. Once I affirmed these things to myself, I essentially made a virtue out of fearlessness, so it became shameful to have fear.

So the best types of affirmations are the one’s that make it psychologically easier for you to approach a woman. The best affirmations make virtue out of action rather than feelings or comparativeness. One of…

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Eric Nolan
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